tonight i was faced (for the first time) with the big puppy dog eyes and “mommy will you play with me?” im thinking hide+go seek so i say sure, but off she runs shouting “great! i’ll set everything up!!” set what up? what do you need ‘setup’ for hide+go seek? oh no. what have i committed to?!
about 30 minutes later she shouts “ok ready”
and i walk into her room to this….
a barbie — sorry, bratz — teaparty.
oh its been a long time since i played barbies. as i struggled to find my squeaky doll voice i realized i couldnt. i didnt have one. after a few silly attempts i settled for unoriginal, and used my regular voice. i never played dolls using another voice. infact when i did play (a long long time ago) i dont remember making the doll talk very much… i just dressed them in totally stylish clothes, and posed them as if i was going to take their pic… and then dressed them again. well heck, now was as good a time to try harder than any, but i also pretended to do unoriginal things, like shop and wash the dishes… bee was not impressed, and asked me to go back to my sewing.
oh. oh my. i suck at pretend really badly.
i may not have pretended with dolls, but i used to know how to pretend that I was someone else… i was a ballerina princess, a rockstar… a supermodel. when did i loose my ability to pretend? oh or maybe pretend only works for ME when i have my dancing shoes on, and the stage lights in my face?
after kicking me out of barbie land she went right back to playing by herself, quickly scooping my doll, and giving her a fantastical high squeaky voice that she deserves. she has so many different voices, and characters who she pretends to be… on a daily basis. i don’t ever want my baby to loose her imagination. at the grocery store shes an old lady choosing fruit. at the thrift store shes a cat looking for her squishy toy… sigh. shes super. makes me laugh.
and reminds me of myself way way back … when i wasn’t afraid to be silly.
ok. just plain nuts sometimes.
wonder how i get that back?