is your mind already made up?

i like to think i can read a person, as to whether they are good … or bad … mean … or nice… but character is not something you can see right away.  i LOVE when i discover how wrong i was about a person. your screaming “WHAT!?” right now, i know. but its true. it’s like a big kick in my face making me realize “oops i did it again” and made a rash judgment before i got to know a person on a deeper level. brings me out of that cloud of obliviousness i sometimes live in.

Take today for example… a friend started a blog. i was completely supportive, but only because she was a friend. i had no idea what her skills, opinions or education on the matter were– nor did i even consider the fact that she may have any of those things. omg this is hard to get out without hurting anyone’s feelings. i didn’t expect much. some blogs are not exciting enough to encourage me to keep reading, or even to check back on a regular basis. you know when you read some blogs and its just a general recap of a persons lackluster life. okay, that’s mean. i didn’t think it would be bad (please dont think thats what im saying) i just didnt expect what i got.

i just finished reading her first official post… and i was shocked into giddiness … it was incredible AND exciting AND totally makes me want to read more and more and more…

and then i felt bad. i didnt even give her a tiny bit of credit when she said she was going to write. would a bad writer really put so much effort into a the design and tone of her first introduction to the world like this? would an unintelligent person really want to share their opinions for others to hear? no. so why didnt i think she would be great?!

don’t get me wrong. it is NOT that i think i’m the only person who can write a blog. i think just the opposite. i dont think i can write. the reality of this situation is that i am oblivious to others actions sometimes, and forget how that may hurt people. how subconscious judgments can be harmful.

This past weekend i found myself in the reverse of this situation, and it really got me thinking about these judgments we make. as much as i love creating these fun and outgoing tshirt, i just might be the shyest person on earth. i’m okay meeting new people — if they talk to me first. but if they are complimenting me on something, i would rather hide under a rock than stand there. i dont get why… but i dont take it well. i feel like they are over exaggerating .. and i still (after all this time) don’t think i’m deserving of their praise. probably a low self esteem issue too. hence the reason i created the slogan “i think i rock” … not to tell you how awesome i am, but to help myself believe it.everyone needs a boost in their self esteem, myself included.

so, since i have yet to overcome this lack of self esteem, when i am around new people i find other things to do, like really intense shopping LOL.

during a moment of shyness, and in an attempt to avoid an uncomfortable conversation, i was introduced to a fan. a big fan. to my dismay, my shyness came off as rudeness, and long story short, she thinks i am an horribly mean person, and will never buy UROCK again. i was shocked. i was judged for all the wrong reasons.

she had such a high opinion of what type of person i was … before even talking to me; before even meeting me. this in turn hurt her feelings, which then hurt mine. i fear my lack of putting someone on a pedestal may have potentially hurt someone.

so gosh darnit! dont judge people without getting to know them.

and really, if you DO know them its not a judgement. it would be fact. ie. she likes fish, instead of she looks like she would like fish. i feel like an english teacher, but see the difference??!

i may not be who you think i am, but that doesn’t mean who i am is so awful.

do you really know your friends? how they feel? how smart they are? are you meeting new people with an open mind? are you giving them a chance to show you who they are, or is your mind already made up?

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2 thoughts on “is your mind already made up?

  1. I like to think that I am pretty intuitive when it comes to meeting new people. I almost think it’s a game because I will meet someone for the first time & sometimes I get really strong feelings about someone that, that is what I ‘tag’ them as instantly without really getting to know them. Or if I meet someone for the first time & we don’t click right away I’m not interested in pursuing anything after that…..
    I also have a self esteem issue & I know that people have taken it the wrong way with me as well. I am also extremely shy until I am comfortable in my environment & or people mistake that I am not shy because I tend to over talk or am the first to introduce myself etc. but that is my defence mechanism stepping in to get the awkwardness out of the way faster. I also don’t like telling people I’m shy because then I feel like people that know that would be watching me more or judging me in public situations (weird I know.)
    Just want to leave this off with an example from highschool:
    Some people that didn’t know me would always be mean or make comments about me & I wasn’t sure why. Until a few of them ,when they got to know me said ” we always thought you were a total snob, you were always giving us dirty looks all the time” Well then I proceeded to tell them I have extremely bad vision & choose not to wear my glasses to school because I thought they made me look geeky. So as I went by everyone I had to squint to see what I was looking at, this is what they percieved to be ‘dirty looks’. When actually I am a very nice, kind hearted person. I got contacts shortly after finding this out.

    So yes, you are right everyone should go into everything with an open mind, not an already made up one. I have to remind myself to do this quite often!! Can totally relate to this blog 🙂

  2. that’s kinda funny — in highschool my “deep in thought” look was perceived as snobbery. sigh. wonder where we first learn to assume we know what others are thinking??

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