We have always gathered at my parents house for most of the holiday meals, even when i was little. People just came to us. But as the years go by, we are all growing older, Aunts + uncles begin families of their own, people change and move on… Gradually our gathering is getting smaller + smaller.
This year we actually all fit around my parents dining room table, with no need to add extra pieces or extensions. Usually we sit around reminicing about past family vacations + funny moments, Or scaring our parents with “what you didn’t know” stories. This year that was different. My brother and I have adult lives now, with adult issues, and we actually had grown-up adult conversations. (okay perhaps everyone else always did. This was my first year to participate) which was really great. As it should be.
But at the end of the night I heard my mother quietly say, “this was the last thanksgiving we would have in their house” because they clearly have decided to finally move into something smaller. It is a wise decision, because outside of my “daydream” bubble I know they aren’t 40 anymore… But realizing all those things, all that comes with aging is not what I want to think about right now.
Right now moving just won’t do.
It like losing a loved one… That has been my one and only home my whole life. (i don’t have my own house yet, so where I am now doesn’t count). I rarely went out in it, but i will miss their garden. their antique style of ever rotating furniture. the smell of delicious food cooking everytime I walked in the door. The ridiculous stairs I fell down many a time, and crawled up once or twice. The doors I slammed, the walls I dusted. The yard where i have many birthday memories with friends.
The house has seen three generation of our family … It simply breaks my heart to let a stranger take over. What will become of it? What will their family memories be? Is it weird I want to know that??
(no mom I’m not saying don’t move. I will be fine with this change too… I will just need more time to get over this change than I had anticipated)
So I’m thankful for my past, to bring me where i am today. But still ever hopeful for the future that everything will stay exactly how it is.