Suffering from the feeling that I lack coolness

I would like to think it’s something everyone goes through, but lately I’m  feeling that I’ve missed my opportunity to become a cool person… To be, you know, the popular kid. The issue first is why do I need to be the cool kid? Because I never was? Why does it suddenly matter so much? The second one is that there are days I know I’m awesome, and I’m super confident and totally motivated… and thanks to good friends those days are getting more often, but gosh those other days… Ugh.

It’s probably all this flu medicine I’ve ingested today, but I noticed this problem while watching that new car commercials where they split screen between an office dude, and a slick stud, and the tag is something like your grown up car is super hot too (at least that’s how I take it) .. and I was jealous. Over a character in a commercial? Over the fact that he had a hot car? He was important in his office? He had lots of friends who were excited when he arrived to the fun party? He’s not even a real person!

Lately I’ve been on this self discover + self improvement journey. Improving my physical and mental health, and it had been going well. But this.. this is a big one. A big issue that is pulling me down from this level I though I was reaching. Whether I’m cool or not is based on the way others see me, how they perceive me — and that shouldn’t matter. It should only matter what I think, how I see me.

Gaw, why is it so hard to change the way we see ourselves?

So here’s another one to add to my list… Don’t concern myself with how others see me – for real…

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