The princess and her rebel

Ever been out driving and took a corner to fast or snuck out to a rooftop, where no one should be, and thought “yes! More of that please” ? Today I realized, while I live this reserved, mediocre (boring) princess-in-a-tower kinda life, something in me craves the fast, wild and dangerous. And while my personal sense of danger is not exactly what everyone else in the world would consider risky, its far beyond what this princess was able to experience from the safety of her tall tall tower. 

Lately I had a deep desire for a different kind of job, and I was really regretting not going to school for nursing or forensic sciences. At first I thought it was just because I was watching too much “Walking Dead” and felt I needed a skill, but today I realized it was actually because there is more potential for danger and risk than what I was getting sitting behind my boring computer in a boring office all day. Sure there are funny stories, but I’m not saving the world here. 

The over-dramatized recollections of my day are more for me, to convince myself yes indeed you are being “risky” … But really quite silly because I’m not at all. 

I used to opt for the clear calculated solutions to problems, but no one gets anywhere like that these days. Not with a business, and not in life

The little things I do, like drive too fast around corners, eating a great before I pay for the bundle, or turn off the GPS and try to find my own way home are my princess ways of getting a little dangerous… I’m still in training afterall. I haven’t traded my shiny ballet shoes in for the muddy combat boots just yet. 

But thankfully I keep a real risky person nearby as best I can. Close enough to be my favorite person in fact.

Now remember, I’m not talking about a gun-slinging, drug dealing psycho … No no. More like a rebel. a kind hearted bad guy who breaks the rules but never with the intent to harm a person. Like Disney’s rapunzel and her dangerous boy – yes! Exactly like that. That’s my life completely … Ooh maybe I need to ask for some royalties or something. 

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The scene where she is out of her tower for the first time, and she’s torn between wonder and fear – that’s literally how I felt the first time he took me to Toronto.

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… Happy, excited, amazed … And suddenly nervous. Was that a gunshot? Lets go see what are those people doing on that dark alley .. oh that’s a bad idea? Why?

He speaks of the bad in the world, and I listen in awe. some things are hard to grasp because they are so far beyond the walls of my Disney fairytale, but I wouldn’t give any of the knowledge back now that I have it. 

He drives the sportsbike, and I hold on real tight behind him. He maintains clear control as he spins the car through snow, and I just smile. He’s covered in tattoos and I might have met my threshold with the single one I got as a kid. He is my thrill and excitement. He is my  opposite, and to me, we fit perfectly. 

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There are many couples I know who are not opposites, but almost as though they’ve been cut from the same rock. Match so perfectly, same tastes, same styles. But I wonder … are there others out there whose favorite person happens to be their complete opposite?

Better late than never – sketch of my day officially begins!

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I forgot my calculator - Jan 5 2012

So yeah, I missed a few days… But the good news is just when i was about to give up for lack of confidence I remembered how awful my sewing was when i first started. I’m sure things would have fallen apart in the wash had I actually sold anything. So here’s hoping practice really does make perfect… And this whole “sketch of my day” project is officially underway!!

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bee's day of videogames - Jan 5 2012

remembering the words is a challenge sometimes

this morning as i was getting on the darkest, least used elevator cube i found myself stumbling on a word to describe my feelings of it (yes i narrate my life sometimes — in my head of course) all i could think of was this sound effect … oooohhh eeeee (like the wind whistling through a deserted yet haunted house). finally it came to me, “omnious” but made me realize i associate a lot of my words with sound effects.

“marvelous” becomes MMmmmmaaaaaarvelous in a french lady accent.

“superiority” gets a scrunched up, nose to the ceiling, stiff snooty snort of laughter in “gu-faww”

“wrath” gets clawed fingers with a hunched over, evil smirk, and an equally evil scratchy whispering “wraaaath”. i realize wrath is more vengeful anger — but evil overlords remind me of that. they are always so vindictive – seeking revenge because someone stepped on their foot 15 years ago.

so if you catch me on a bad day (like today) my communication could seem very caveman-like with a combination of extreme facial expressions, hand gestures and eeeerie sound effects.

[hands thrust towards reader, voice in caveman grunt]: ugh
[singsongy and fairy dancing waiving arms]: la la laaaa
[normal voice]: today.
definition: have a nice day!

anger passing, day returning to normal

today is a wee bit better. okay its a lot better. i’m not so furious with everything. but on that note i wanted to clarify something… i dont dislike my job. i made that complaint because not only was it funny to me (after i stopped being frustrated) because a battle with a caller is rare… 5 months and that was the first “argument” … EVER. i’ve had some tears with callers, some giggles… but never a disagreement or heated battle. and even more unbelievable was the fact that suddenly with no clear reason they switched personalities — and agreed with me.

i did have way more to say in regards to all that, and the whole feeling better deal, but now that the day is almost over i totally forget.

remember to laugh at adversity — right in the face!!
(perhaps that is what finally dissipated my personal angst)

today can kiss my…

i may be angry, but not enough to actually put those words out there. did you too feel today was sucky, stupid and just plain BAD? i did. but i do not want a do-over or a sweet angel to flap her magical wings and make it all better — i want it stricken from the record and erased from the memory of all those who fell victim to its rotten smell. it was so awful it does NOT deserve what im about to give it (an entire blog post) but i made a vow on the blessed drunken new years eve to share more with my friends (and fans) and why not start here.

it all started with an argument.

(no this is not my actual kitchen)

an argument over which of us is more moronic and soaks the dishes longer than the other. no, it does not make sense for grown adults, but yes, it did happen.

followed  by a boring drive to work, and a late bus. then onto some awesome calls by some equally awesome callers. perhaps they too were experiencing the same kind of day… but come on. the cherry on the cake was spending 15 minutes trying to get a caller to resend some basic information.

"if you say its here... then.. maybe its here..."

caller: i mailed the information. why have you not done anything with it
me: when did you send it?
caller: November
me: yes that was a long time ago. i’m sorry but i don’t see that we received it at all. can you fax it to me
caller: i already did.
me: (would have been helpful to know this) when?
caller: a few weeks ago.
me: (after checking what was faxed) i see there is still information missing. we need the receipts. do you have those?
caller: no other company does
me: i need to have them to complete your original request. can you get copies and fax them to me?
caller: i already mailed them
me: like i said we never received them. i need you to send them again
caller: i already did.
me: (holy mother of Moses!!) please can you send them to me by fax so i can send a request personally to have this taken care of
caller: but i don’t have them — you do.
me: send them
caller: you have them
me: send them
caller: you have them
me: what i’m trying to say is that we don’t. they never arrived in the mail and they were not included in the fax
caller: yes they were.
me: (ran over to callers house and choked him while repeating the above instructions… oh. not really)

i have no idea what i said or how i got through to this person but finally they said “okay so i will fax them?”  it baffles me the number of people who would rather argue and trust us to complete the task properly a second time when we missed a certain item the first time. wouldn’t you want to be sure you did all you could to make sure the morons (the company you calling to yell at) didnt make the same mistake, and miss the same items the next time they tackle the request??

the rest of the day was filled with similar absurdities, and general frustration. the shifts were changed at work, meaning i had NO breaks with anyone. the helpful angel who sits near me, getting me through my day, was away today. and now the family sits in silence, lips pursed, as we stare at the tv without actually hearing whats being said. thankfully i am not the only one feeling the crappiness of the day. but for gods sakes WHY?!  the curse of new years? will that be the new way we refer to the fourth day of the new year??

and don’t you dare say karma. i believe in it… but how could we all have pissed the lady off?

note to the fairy of tomorrow — it better be incredible  $!@#$%